Where have I been

my sincerest apologies for not posting in so long, no real excuse other than the obvious. I am pretty much stuck to my bed and have lost an incredible amount of weight since this whole thing started. I have to have a full time home health aide as well as a family member with me at all time. Sometimes I resent the invasion of my privacy but mostly I treasure the time with my family, talking about old times and learning about my family. I had a fun time this morning with my mom, talking about the crazy hair styles of the 40s and her dating. Luis came over today as well, had a great time with him, he is growing up so fast, I am so proud of him!
Well, that is it for now, but I promise I will post more often!

Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!

Today in our family we celebrate 3 birthdays in one day! So, Happy Birthday to Mark, Arthur, and Patrick were all born on the same day in june. Big family dinner at Mom and Dad's. I will be there in spirit, of course.

A great big THANK YOU to my Aunt Jessie and Cousin Ed for the yummy chocolates! Lindt sent by FEDEX no less! I love candy that comes with instructions inside, lol.

Sunday

The way I look at things, Hospice isn't a matter of dying but a matter of controlling my life as long as I can. I am at peace, more so now than I have been in a long while. Stopping chemo was a personal choice but one that I am at peace with. I have 24 hour care because I am pretty much stuck to my bed or a wheel chair. especially since I sprained my ankle trying to go to the bathroom by myself! My pain is tolerable and they provide me with anything I need. The hardest part was realizing that I could no longer care for my son, so he is now living with my sister (his guardian). Fortunately she just lives down the street and I see him almost every day. She has been an absolute godsend, has have my other relatives, friends and neighbors, but Peggy is special and I thank God everyday for having her as my ally, my rock, my sister, my caregiver and my good companion.
I am having problems lately with my short term memory, I will be mid sentence and stop, not remembering what the heck I was talking about. It is very frustrating for someone who is as talkative as I am!
That's it for now, I find that I get very tired easily so I don't stay on the computer too long. I'll see you next time, in the meantime keep me in your prayers

The latest

Well, it's been quite a while, but a lot has been happening, so I will try to summarize. I had my transfusion and then got pretty sick over the weekend. Went to the Emergency room and found out my blood count was down to 16. I was admitted to the hospital and given multiple transfusions. Unfortunately no one could find out a cause of the bleeding. After I was discharged they found that my ammonia level was very high then still higher a week later. The bottom line is that there is nothing more that can be done and my liver has shut down. So, no more chemo, no more treatments. A feww days later I became extremely ill and Hospice was called in. Right now I am comfortable and plan to remain so. Will I die tonight? maybe, maybe not for months. The plan is to keep me as comfortable as possible. As I get sicker my posts will get fewer but my sister Peggy will keep you all updated.
I am ok with this, I have asked God to give me strength as I continue down His path. So, meanwhile keep me in your prayers and I will keep you all in mine. God bless

Where have I been?

no, haven't disappeared off the face of the earth, I've been in the hospital, All the nausea and vomiting had really taken their toll, plus I had gotten a transfusion that week, my blood count was 22.So, went the ER, my blood count there was 16! (normal is around 36). I have been receiving blood ever since. Fortunately it looks as though i will be making it home tomorrow (Wednesday), keep your fingers crossed. no known reason why my counts are low, maybe just not making enough blood? Anyway, the docs want to make sure that I can get along on my own, well, with a walker but without passing out or tripping!

Flying Pig

For those of you who don't hail from the Cincinnati area, we have a marathon each year called the Flying Pig. Standard 26.? miles the whole nine yards. This year's was just held on Sunday and my wonderful brother Mark ran the whole thing in 3:40! not bad for someone who is just coming up on 50. But the most wonderful thing he did was to dedicate his run to Luis and me. Talk about bringing on the tears! My sister in law had a shirt made for him with a picture of Luis and me and "This run's for you" on the top! Once again I find myself giving thanks for my wonderful family, no one could have it better than me! Or maybe it's that some people don't recognize their blessings. Take my advice and take a look at your family, warts and all, and tell me that there is not at least one thing that makes that person, that family, that makes them special to you, and then give thanks that you are blessed with your family.

good news bad news

fairly uneventful week, the good news is that I was actually keeping food down, until today, I knew it was too good to last. Oh well, the side effects of chemo I guess. I am careful about what I eat, don't want to upset the apple cart, so to speak.
The bad news is that I am experiencing quite a lot of pain, feels like someone is stabbing me with a butcher knife. But this could actually be good news, because it could be a sign that the chemo and the sirspheres are doing their job and killing the tumors in my liver, so, my doctor upped my pain meds and we're all keeping our fingers crossed that that is the case.
My blood work didn't come out so great, my white blood count is down, white blood cells are what helps fight infection, so I have to be careful. My red blood count is down as well, so I got yet another shot (OUCH OUCH OUCH) of stuff that is supposed to encourage red blood cell production. If that doesn't work by next week, I may have to get a transfusion. I've given enough blood over the years that I think I deserve a little of it back, don't you think?
The weather is beautiful, I just love spring! My wonderful neighbors planted my impatiens and put up my decorative fencing,, so my front yard looks so pretty. The irises are blooming and beautiful, and my knockout rose bushes are HUGE!
Yesterday my nephew received his first communion, plus lots of birthdays in the family this week, nice party at my sister's house, her birthday too, the big four oh!
Hope everyone has a great week!