two posts in one day!

well, heard from the liver specialist who wants to see me on Wednesday, I am hoping that this is a good sign. Meanwhile, had my MRI of my hip and back tonight, as a lovely parting gift they gave me a CD of the MRI, I could actually see the tumor in my back, the hip, well, all I can say is that it looked like a picture of a steak to me! Keep your fingers crossed and your eyes up to heaven for good news on Wednesday!

update

so, I may end up glowing in the dark. I have an MRI scheduled today of my back and hip to see how much involvement there is and where they would need to do radiation if it comes to that. The fear is collapsing my vertebrae, a very scary thought for sure. Then tomorrow another CT scan, this time of my lungs to see if the cancer has spread there. In the mean time no chemo until we talk to the liver specialist, who of course wasn't in the office today, just my luck. my spirits are good, just wait and see. surely a test of anyone's patience!

It's not always good news

I had a CT scan this past week and got the results back today, the news is not good. In a nutshell the cancer is spreading. I have four more tumors in my liver, more lymph node involvement and now it has spread to my spine and hip. Not the news I wanted to hear but I had a sneaking suspicion that the report was not going to be good. Fortunately I am feeling good, and at least I know why my back was hurting! Haven't talked to my oncologist yet, that comes Monday. My hope is that we can find more aggressive treatment and slow this sucker down! I feel fine and I am not licked yet! So, keep the prayers and good wishes coming!

Happy New Year!

Well, 2008 is starting off great! After a 30 lb weight loss I am finally getting my appetite back! Now mind you, I could have stood to lose that much weight and a bit more, but this isn't a diet I would recommend! After feeling like crap for weeks and weeks I decided that one of the drugs I was taking, Tarceva, just wasn't worth it. To paraphrase one of my favorite lines from Steel Magnolias, I would rather have 6 months of normal than 8 months of misery. My doctor also put me on a new drug to stimulate my appetite and for the first time in months I actually feel normal! I still have pain and get tired easily but I can manage.
I hope you all had a great new year, Luis and I were invited to a couple of parties, but after watching Shrek 2 he went to bed and I fell asleep on the couch. They call in amateur night for more than one reason! My days of partying until I drop are long over :-)
My hope for myself and everyone else is for a safe, HEALTHY and wonderful New Year!

By the way.....

The cruise almost didn't happen, gasp! I got a call on the Monday before we left from my doctor's office, "was I by any chance yellow?" Remember that Friday I was feeling pretty crappy and as it turned out my bilirubin was very elevated due to the fact that my bile duct was blocked off, most likely from the tumor. So, after much scrambling and the heroic actions of Shirley, the oncology nurse, I was able to get in on Tuesday for an ERCP and had the blocked stent replaced, phew! I was a bit tired but nonetheless I was on that plane the next day! Everyone was bound and determined to get me on that cruise and once again I find myself so grateful for the people and blessings God has surrounded me with! So, next time you are faced with a situation that seems impossible, think again!

Cruise Report and Merry Christmas!

What a great time we had! Our trip started with a late evening plane ride to Ft Lauderdale then on to the ship the next afternoon! Our rooms were just beautiful with lots of room for storage and a big balcony where I got to enjoy reading in solitude drinking my coffee each morning. Friday we spent at sea, laying by the pool, exploring the ship and the kids enjoying some of the activities the ship had to offer. The food was marvelous, my appetite wasn't the best but I at least tried everything I ordered. On Saturday we went shopping in the morning in Cozumel, then on to a private beach where my brother in law and the two youngest kiddies stayed while the rest of us went to swim with the dolphins. I can't begin to tell you what a magical experience that was. What magnificent beautiful creatures they were and we were right up there close and personal as you can see. I was so overwhelmed I cried half the time, and because they are supposed to have healing powers my sister kept telling me to touch them and I swear she was trying to shoo them toward me. Alas the time went by all too fast and we were finished with our dolphin encounter, so we decided to go to Carlos and Charlie's for a traditional tequila shot and to buy some t shirts. back to the ship and even more food and Sunday we spent relaxing as much as we could with 4 kids in tow!

I really had a terrific time, especially the time spent with the people who are dearest to me in my life. The kids were kids, very well behaved but not Stepford children for sure! I am ready to go on another cruise, add that to my list of things to live for, a cruise in the spring with another swim with the dolphins!

Friends I will remember you

think of you, pray for you, and when another day is through, I'll still be friends with you.

I was so blessed to have a gaggle of my bestest girl friends come over last night to watch A Star is Born (Kris Kristofferson and Barbra Streisand). The movie holds a lot of dear memories for me, but none as much as last night will. They brought food, drink, props, gifts, you name it. I was laughing and crying so hard I had to take an extra Vicodin! I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I am truly blessed.

And to think it almost didn't happen. I woke yesterday feeling worse than I had felt in days, and had not been able to keep anything down since Tuesday. I called my oncologist's office and they told me to come over right away. They said better in their office than to wait four hours in the ER, so true. so, they took a look at me, loaded me up with meds and IV and let me sleep for a few hours. I was dehydrated for sure. God bless them for taking such good care of me always.

I was advised to cancel the evening, but after another nap I decided not to. I had been looking forward to it too long and so were my friends. They had enough good judgement to not overstay their welcome and we all had a marvelous time!

So, 3 days and a wake up and I'll be on a plane bound for Ft Lauderdale and the SS Navigator!! Peggy and I had our nails done and I get my hair done on Monday. My plan is to stay on the Lido deck heavily sunscreened (chemo doesn't mix well with the sun) and sipping fancy umbrella drinks and reading trashy novels and gossip magazines. No work, no chemo, no cancer!